Today I spent the day boxing up all the mini kits that are part of my monthly subscription box for the Kit Club I launched this month. It took around 5 hours to get all the kits assembled. Every paint strip got shrink wrapped, boxes lined with bubble wrap, lid stickers applied, thank you envelopes stuffed with thank you cards (that were OF COURSE slightly misprinted but I still used anyways because even though I have major control problems, people just throw that stuff away…). All the boxes get a rubber stamp of my logo applied to the lid and while I did that I also stamped the front of the thank you cards that all got hand signed. Then I applied tape to the boxes with custom logo tape that requires water to become sticky. When all was said and done I sat down in my studio and looked at the pile of boxes and thought to myself “not enough”.
I headed home and proceeded to spend the remaining hours before Jeff finished work listening to a creative business podcast while making a list of things I really want to create and sell under the umbrella of my (hopefully) ever growing brand. I need more professional photos, and I should network more, I want to expand the scope of my creative work and focus on painting things that I want to hang in my house, design those cute calendars for the holidays, talk to Jeff about a line of water propagation products, what events do I want to host in my new space once I custom build a table that seats at least 15, and also I need to get back to losing weight. It was a long list and I thought to myself “ugh! Not enough”
And the entire time I was writing it I was absolutely BEATING myself up for not doing enough. Just grinding my face into the fact that other creatives I know do MORE. How pitiful my offerings are. I rubbed salt into a body covered in wounds and told myself that what I am obsessively stretching myself to accomplish is simply NOT enough.
On my growing list of things I want to do is to write more because I wanted to share more of myself, and I was assuming that it would be funny. If you know me I hope you would agree, that I am quite comical. So here is more of me, and guess what its only kinda funny.
I’m not going to throw out the list of all the goals I have for myself. Because everything on it is true. I do want more. I want to make more, create more, sell more. I want a big life and I intend to give it to myself. I am however, going to throw out the way I was talking to myself. Because the lesson here today is that I am doing enough. And because I couldn’t help myself I did one more thing. I made a version of a manageable to do list. It’s not super fancy but feel free to download it, because we all deserve to feel accomplished and like we are enough.